Week 11 Story: The Burglar and the Golden Mallard
Image info: Golden feather, Image credit: Xdesktopwallpapers
It came to pass that the Buddha was born a Brahmin. As he grew older, the Brahmin marries a bride of his own rank, and later has three beautiful daughters. However, the Brahmin soon fell ill and dies, leaving his three daughters fatherless and a wife without her husband.
After his death, the Buddha was reborn as a Golden Mallard, in which he believed that he could continue to support his family and provide for them by allowing them to pluck his golden feather one by one. By doing so, his family could live in a comfortable life even after his passing.
One day, as he approaches his wife and daughters, he explains to them who he was and why he was there, “My dear wife and beautiful daughters, it is I, your husband and your father. I had been reborn a Golden Mallard to bring help to my loving family. You will be given my golden feather one at a time.” After that, he plucked a brightly golden feather from his body and plopped it in the hand of his eldest daughter. “Take care of your mother. She may be strong on the outside, but she will always need you by her side,” he said, before departing. Every now and then he would return to give them another feather, and soon enough his family became somewhat wealthy.
This attracted many people, and they became curious how their family had gotten so rich, even after they had recently lost their father. There had been a rumor that the family had a Golden Mallard, but there could be no such thing. One day, a skilled- burglar decided to take it upon himself to discover the truth. After a month of spying on the family, the burglar did not see a sign of the golden mallard. About to give up on his quest, the burglar finally catches a glimpse of something golden. Sneaking closer to get a better look, the burglar confirmed the rumor with his own eyes. The golden mallard plucked a feather from its body and handed it to the mother of the house. This was the chance, he thought. Sprinting toward the golden mallard, he grabbed it in his arms and continued to run until he reached to the safe house.
“Finally! I’ve waited so long for this!” The burglar said excitedly. As he begins to pluck the feathers of the golden mallard, it ceased to be gold and turned white instantly like a crane’s feathers. In disbelief, the burglar let go of the mallard, and it flew back home.
Bibliography: “The Mallard That Asked for Too Much” by Marie L. Shedlock. Website: Gateway to the Classics.
Author’s Notes:
In the original story, the author writes about the Buddha born as a Brahmin and later born again as a Golden Mallard to help his family. However, instead of the mother picking all of the golden feather out of greed, I changed the story so that another character, in this case a burglar, did the horrible deed. I felt bad for the mother, in which I decided to change it up a little.
Bibliography:
“The Mallard That Asked for Too Much” by Marie L. Shedloc
Hi Sara!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I really like your story! Secondly, watch out for verb tense. You flipped back and forth a little bit in the beginning of your story. I like that you changed the individual who plucks out the feathers of the mallard because it added another sort of dynamic to your story. It allowed you to introduce someone else, which is important even for a little bit. I look forward to reading more!
Hi Sara!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really cool story! I haven't read the original, but based on your author's note I really like your twist with the burglar. The bit with the feathers at the end stimulated my imagination and made me wonder what other directions you could take this in; I started imagining birds with many differently colored feathers, and the power of each of these colors to provide something. One editing note: you might consider adding paragraph breaks when you have dialogue in order to distinguish the speakers and the messages they are sending.
Hi~
ReplyDeleteI just read the original this week but there were some parts I didn't fully understand. Reading it again through another perspective was definitely helpful to clear up any confusion. I also thought it was sad that the wife/mother let greed get the best of her. I never got any indication that the mallard would stop supporting his family so her actions really caught me by surprise. I like how you added the burglar. It takes away the depressing family betrayal aspect.
Great job on your retelling!
Hey Sara,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story this week, I think it was light, easy to read, and you stated your point quickly. The way you wrote the story is very easy to read, it flows well and the language fits the story nicely. I really like that the father was so committed to his family and did not just abandon them with nothing. He sacrifices himself for them.