Hi Sara! I clicked on your Storybook because I was really interested in Draupadi as a character from the epics after being introduced to her through The Mahabharata and after your Introduction, I am even more interested in learning about her. I am not that familiar with her, and I mostly know her story through the bit of the Mahabharata that I have read (I read Narayan's version). I think your overview is a synthesis of several stories and sources yes? If so, I really like this approach because you can get the best of all the versions of her. There are always several sides to a tale and I think by exploring more than one, you can get the best version of a character. That being you said, since you gave a summary of her story alone, I was thinking that you might add a short note somewhere telling us what you were going to do your storybook about. I really would like to see exactly what your plan is. Are you going to explore her lives prior to becoming Draupadi? Are you going to look at her as the incarnation of Parvati? Are you going to explore what it means for her to be born of fire? I am sure you could build on this as you go and add more pages, but I think the Intro would benefit from a short paragraph about the direction of the Storybook itself. I love her character and you seem to be invested in her as an independent and vital female protagonist as well, so I am looking forward to see where you go with it!
Hi Sara. I want to start off by saying that you have chosen a very interesting topic and I cannot wait to see what stories you publish to the site. I think that in both the Ramayana and Mahabharata there is little focus on the female characters. The lack of development leaves the female characters flat and does a disservice to the overall quality of the narrative. Seeing that multiple people are going to publish the stories of the female characters is exciting. Draupadi is a particularly interesting choice because so far in the Mahabharata she ahs played far more of an active role than most characters. As you point out, she speaks her mind and she is also willful and fierce. These are qualities that make for an interesting character. Again, I think this is a great storybook idea; hopefully everything goes well in creating it, and I look forward to reading it.
I really like how you chose Draupadi as the focus of your storybook! I agree with you that she seems to be the only female character who is willing to speak her mind, but I have to say I was incredibly frustrated with how little all of the male characters in the story would listen to her! She was the only person who had any reasonable advice, and they ignored her anyways. In terms of your introduction as a whole, it would clarify things a lot if you gave the reader a little more insight into what stories you were going to tell, such as if they were retelling of the Mahabharata, or completely new stories. For example, it would be interesting to read about a version of the Mahabharata in which the Pandava brothers actually listen to Draupadi, and things don’t get quite so out of hand. I also think it would make it easier to navigate your site if you included a link to your comment wall at the bottom of each page!
Sara, I am excited to read about your interpretation of Draupadi. I too am intrigued by her character. I find your introduction well thought out and descriptive enough to engage your audience and entice them to read more. Although I have read through the same assignments as everyone else, I don’t recall reading an explanation of the root of Draupadi’s name. It makes your introduction insightful and informative. Similar to how you compared and contrasted Draupadi to Sita in your introduction, I have been left with a little disappointment in Sita’s character. Draupadi, however, appears as strong and full of life as your describe her. What is perhaps the most unique of her tale is the idea that her relationship with the Pandavas is a reverse of the traditional polygamy structure. In your last paragraph, you describe how Draupadi sought five virtues and therefor found them in five different men. I have to chuckle at the realism in that dynamic. It is a story all by itself in terms of how we collective perceive the ideal person. I wonder if that is something that you may find inspiring and worth exploring as you dig deeper into who Draupadi is. I will be bookmarking your story and I look forward to what is on the way. P.S. Perhaps a link to your comment page on your webpage footer could be useful to your reader.
I loved reading your Introduction about Draupadi as I am also using her as character right now in my stories. I love how you are sharing a very powerful, independent side to her as I am trying to do the same. I am glad the epics made her out to be such a women and it is fun expanding on her life based off of them. I also enjoyed how you contrasted her personality in with culture she was in. I am sure it was not easy for her to be her true strong self at times. What are you planning on doing with the rest of your project? What stories do you plan on telling of her? It could be cool to tell about her life with all of her individual husbands and give them each a tab! Also, I am not sure is your criteria requires it but an authors note maybe something to add to just tell us more about where you are headed with this.
I loved your version of Draupadi’s birth! Because I have been doing the exact same thing with my stories all semester. In your version of her birth you engaged in gender bending, a practice where a writer switches the roles of the male and the female protagonist. This is my favorite thing to do because it highlights how often woman are portrayed as inferior to men in Indian stories. For instance in the original version of your story the brother is superior to his sister. But in your version, the sister receives all of the attention. I really like how you switch the prospective to Draupadi after she was born in order to encompass the strong feelings she must have felt in this moment. I think it would be a really cool idea for your other stories to follow the same theme of gender bending with Draupadi as the heroine.
Hi Sara! I love a strong female lead! I chose men in my story because it fit the time period but I hate it, so I'm living through everyone who chose female leads. It is more fun to have a lead who you can relate with. Many of the stories we write I can't really do that, so I love these stories that change that. I also really liked the the gender bending during her birth. It was a unique way to write it. I would never had written it that way. Are you going to write about the poker game? That would be really interesting to see her perspective. They say she is incredibly angry, but I can't imagine how it would feel to be sold by your husband. It also would be a way to talk about the structures in the Pandavas family-- five husbands and one wife-- quite the unique family.
Hey Sara! I read your story Draupadi Finds Her True Love. Firstly, I just wanted to say that I really like the aesthetic you chose for your site. It’s classy, has an empowering and feminist feel to it, and it also has an Indian theme that fits the class perfectly. I also really liked the specific photo you chose to include on the page for your story. The chronicles centered around Draupadi and her tale were particularly interesting to me. I really liked the direction you took your story, especially considering the fact that you found the marriage selection process demeaning in the original story—which I totally agree with. As much as I enjoyed the original story, your version made me love Draupadi’s character even more. I thought it was neat how you took her stubborn personality and determination to create her path, fused them together, and created a destiny that let her have the best of both worlds.
I just finished reading your story "Draupadi finds her true love" and I really enjoyed the changes you made to the original story. Personally, I don't like to change too much in my stories, but I really did enjoy the complete 180 in this story compared to the original. I always thought it was kinda weird and unfair that the princesses in these stories are always the damsel in distress or being courted without their say, but I guess that's how it was back then. I am really interested to find out how the rest of Draupadi's journey will go. I'm not sure if you plan on focusing solely on her or if she will encounter the Pandavas eventually, but I'd really like to see how this version of Draupadi would interact with the brothers. What if the brothers become intimidated by her rather than trying to win her affection/protect her from evil. I feel like this version of Draupadi is a independent badass and the Pandavas might see her as equal or even more powerful than them! Can't wait to read more!
Hi Sara! I'm really glad to see where you took these stories and I like how in each of them, you've taken Draupadi's original story in your own hands and reshaped them. I especially enjoyed the second one where you gave her much more autonomy, and further developed her relationship with her mother. Not only did it give her more of a say, but you made her mother's character stronger too. I think you brought the mother's character across the way you mentioned in your Author's Note well. In the first story, I found the change to Draupadi's point of view a bit jarring, and I was wondering if perhaps you put it in italics or separated it by adding quotations, it might help to ease the reader into the sudden change. I am looking forward to see your take on Draupadi ending up with five husbands, especially since you've set it up that she fell for 'the archer' as her true love first!
Hi Sara! I felt like trying out Prof. Gibb's comment style, specifically on your first story The Birth of Draupadi.
"The bright, fearsome flame was even visible from a distance. "
I think putting the even after the visible might be a better choice.
"Growling and dancing, it flickered brightly before their eyes."
Good description, but I'm not sure that I think of fires as growling. Also you might want to use pronouns after establishing who you are referring to.
"The flames flashing in orange, red, yellow, and even white, the people of Panachala stood watching the sacrificial fire, waiting for a true prince to step from the burning flames."
The in before orange might be unnecessary. I'd also personally rewrite the first section to use as, like this.
"As the flames flashed orange, red, yellow, and even white, the people of Panchala..."
The rest of this paragraph is pretty good. it definitely establishes the nervousness around the event.
"Then, from the sacrificial fire, arose a fully-grown man, glowing like the gods. He was as radiant as fire and frightening to behold. His face shone like gold against the sun. His clothes, too, were golden. The prince wore a suit of armor with bows, arrows, helmet, and sword. He stepped out of the fire, and stood tall and unafraid."
Good imagery. I think that the last comma is unneeded though.
"There in the sacrificial fire, I can see the burning flames engulfing me, licking against my cool dark-complexioned skin."
The switch to first person is a bit jarring, perhaps there is a way to weave it into the start of the story seamlessly?
"Hearing this, all of the people of Panchala rose to their feet and roared like a lion in the crowd."
This sentence is written in third person, which is again, jarring. Perhaps try
"Hearing this, the crowd around me rose and roared like a lion."
The last paragraph is fine. This excerpt
"I could see happy tears rolling down her face as she met her children for the first time. "
Makes me feel pretty warm and fuzzy.
I'd like to finish by saying that this story feels very grand and epic. I was listening to the Halo theme song while reading, and was a very good fit.
I really enjoyed reading your story. It seems to be a common theme in a lot of storybooks and fairytales for the daughter to rebel against arranged marriages. It was a common theme when we were kids too, like in Mulan and I can see why, I wouldn’t want an arranged marriage either. One thing I think could make this theme a little stronger in your story is having Draupadi and the archer have more of a relationship before she wants to marry him. It seems like she only wants to marry him after seeming him once and not really knowing him very well first. To me that kind of similar to having an arranged marriage. Other then that I really liked your story because I think it is a good theme and very well written. The story flowed very well and was easy to follow along with.
I love how you focused on Draupadi! She is an incredible character who was more than the Pandava's wife. I honestly did not realize that her brother was Dhristadhyumna, or at least that they were twins. Your story was wonderful to read, and I like that your inspiration came from "The Palace of Illusions." That resource was so fun and wonderful to read, so I can see why it influenced you to do so. The way you wrote the story was wonderful as well. It was so descriptive, and I could imagine myself in her place going through the birth and marriage. I do suggest, however, if you could find a little better quality photos. Your beautiful stories and cute page would be more consistent! But if it is hard to find, then honestly it is not anything major to worry about. You did a great job! I hope to find another story on here next week!
I just finished reading your last entry to your storybook, "In Love," and after seeing how the whole story wounded up, I was pleasantly surprised! Like I said in my last comment, I typically like to stay pretty close to the source material, so when I was reading your storybook I kept on waiting for the introduction of the Pandavas. In this entry I was introduced to Arjuna, but not in the way I thought I would be. Having him already grown up and have a family made the romance seem a lit more alive rather than just winning her hand in marriage at a festival. Also, the love between the two seemed more romantic as she fell in love with Arjuna on her own, not marrying all the brothers because their mom said to share whatever they had. This story was far from the source material and I loved it! Thanks for keeping me on my toes and thanks for the great read. Go Draupadi!
Happy dead week to you! What a wonderful story you have told for us with your storybook, “The Stories of Draupadi.” Although my natural male tendency toward the conflict of battles usually leads me by the allure of battle scenes in the Indian Epics, it is refreshing to read about the exploration of the love story. I appreciate that you have explored the depths of loss and emotional experience that the characters have experienced versus the conflicts of battle action. Your introduction gives the reader a good look into where you are going with the stories. “The Birth of Draupadi,” “Draupadi Finds Her True Love,” and “The defeat of Drona” tell the stories in the way that you explained in your introduction. Your images are well thought out and contribute greatly to your story. Your color palette on the blog sets a very nice tone. Also, the storybook blog links on each page give your reader a very convenient experience in terms of navigation. Finally, I bet you are happy to be finished! I think we all are!
Hi Sara!
ReplyDeleteI clicked on your Storybook because I was really interested in Draupadi as a character from the epics after being introduced to her through The Mahabharata and after your Introduction, I am even more interested in learning about her. I am not that familiar with her, and I mostly know her story through the bit of the Mahabharata that I have read (I read Narayan's version). I think your overview is a synthesis of several stories and sources yes? If so, I really like this approach because you can get the best of all the versions of her. There are always several sides to a tale and I think by exploring more than one, you can get the best version of a character. That being you said, since you gave a summary of her story alone, I was thinking that you might add a short note somewhere telling us what you were going to do your storybook about. I really would like to see exactly what your plan is. Are you going to explore her lives prior to becoming Draupadi? Are you going to look at her as the incarnation of Parvati? Are you going to explore what it means for her to be born of fire? I am sure you could build on this as you go and add more pages, but I think the Intro would benefit from a short paragraph about the direction of the Storybook itself. I love her character and you seem to be invested in her as an independent and vital female protagonist as well, so I am looking forward to see where you go with it!
Hi Sara. I want to start off by saying that you have chosen a very interesting topic and I cannot wait to see what stories you publish to the site. I think that in both the Ramayana and Mahabharata there is little focus on the female characters. The lack of development leaves the female characters flat and does a disservice to the overall quality of the narrative. Seeing that multiple people are going to publish the stories of the female characters is exciting. Draupadi is a particularly interesting choice because so far in the Mahabharata she ahs played far more of an active role than most characters. As you point out, she speaks her mind and she is also willful and fierce. These are qualities that make for an interesting character. Again, I think this is a great storybook idea; hopefully everything goes well in creating it, and I look forward to reading it.
ReplyDeleteHi Sara!
ReplyDeleteI really like how you chose Draupadi as the focus of your storybook! I agree with you that she seems to be the only female character who is willing to speak her mind, but I have to say I was incredibly frustrated with how little all of the male characters in the story would listen to her! She was the only person who had any reasonable advice, and they ignored her anyways. In terms of your introduction as a whole, it would clarify things a lot if you gave the reader a little more insight into what stories you were going to tell, such as if they were retelling of the Mahabharata, or completely new stories. For example, it would be interesting to read about a version of the Mahabharata in which the Pandava brothers actually listen to Draupadi, and things don’t get quite so out of hand. I also think it would make it easier to navigate your site if you included a link to your comment wall at the bottom of each page!
Sara, I am excited to read about your interpretation of Draupadi. I too am intrigued by her character. I find your introduction well thought out and descriptive enough to engage your audience and entice them to read more. Although I have read through the same assignments as everyone else, I don’t recall reading an explanation of the root of Draupadi’s name. It makes your introduction insightful and informative. Similar to how you compared and contrasted Draupadi to Sita in your introduction, I have been left with a little disappointment in Sita’s character. Draupadi, however, appears as strong and full of life as your describe her. What is perhaps the most unique of her tale is the idea that her relationship with the Pandavas is a reverse of the traditional polygamy structure. In your last paragraph, you describe how Draupadi sought five virtues and therefor found them in five different men. I have to chuckle at the realism in that dynamic. It is a story all by itself in terms of how we collective perceive the ideal person. I wonder if that is something that you may find inspiring and worth exploring as you dig deeper into who Draupadi is. I will be bookmarking your story and I look forward to what is on the way.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Perhaps a link to your comment page on your webpage footer could be useful to your reader.
Hi Sara,
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your Introduction about Draupadi as I am also using her as character right now in my stories. I love how you are sharing a very powerful, independent side to her as I am trying to do the same. I am glad the epics made her out to be such a women and it is fun expanding on her life based off of them. I also enjoyed how you contrasted her personality in with culture she was in. I am sure it was not easy for her to be her true strong self at times. What are you planning on doing with the rest of your project? What stories do you plan on telling of her? It could be cool to tell about her life with all of her individual husbands and give them each a tab! Also, I am not sure is your criteria requires it but an authors note maybe something to add to just tell us more about where you are headed with this.
ReplyDeleteI loved your version of Draupadi’s birth! Because I have been doing the exact same thing with my stories all semester. In your version of her birth you engaged in gender bending, a practice where a writer switches the roles of the male and the female protagonist. This is my favorite thing to do because it highlights how often woman are portrayed as inferior to men in Indian stories. For instance in the original version of your story the brother is superior to his sister. But in your version, the sister receives all of the attention. I really like how you switch the prospective to Draupadi after she was born in order to encompass the strong feelings she must have felt in this moment. I think it would be a really cool idea for your other stories to follow the same theme of gender bending with Draupadi as the heroine.
Hi Sara!
ReplyDeleteI love a strong female lead! I chose men in my story because it fit the time period but I hate it, so I'm living through everyone who chose female leads. It is more fun to have a lead who you can relate with. Many of the stories we write I can't really do that, so I love these stories that change that. I also really liked the the gender bending during her birth. It was a unique way to write it. I would never had written it that way. Are you going to write about the poker game? That would be really interesting to see her perspective. They say she is incredibly angry, but I can't imagine how it would feel to be sold by your husband. It also would be a way to talk about the structures in the Pandavas family-- five husbands and one wife-- quite the unique family.
Hey Sara! I read your story Draupadi Finds Her True Love. Firstly, I just wanted to say that I really like the aesthetic you chose for your site. It’s classy, has an empowering and feminist feel to it, and it also has an Indian theme that fits the class perfectly. I also really liked the specific photo you chose to include on the page for your story. The chronicles centered around Draupadi and her tale were particularly interesting to me. I really liked the direction you took your story, especially considering the fact that you found the marriage selection process demeaning in the original story—which I totally agree with. As much as I enjoyed the original story, your version made me love Draupadi’s character even more. I thought it was neat how you took her stubborn personality and determination to create her path, fused them together, and created a destiny that let her have the best of both worlds.
ReplyDeleteHey Sara,
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your story "Draupadi finds her true love" and I really enjoyed the changes you made to the original story. Personally, I don't like to change too much in my stories, but I really did enjoy the complete 180 in this story compared to the original. I always thought it was kinda weird and unfair that the princesses in these stories are always the damsel in distress or being courted without their say, but I guess that's how it was back then. I am really interested to find out how the rest of Draupadi's journey will go. I'm not sure if you plan on focusing solely on her or if she will encounter the Pandavas eventually, but I'd really like to see how this version of Draupadi would interact with the brothers. What if the brothers become intimidated by her rather than trying to win her affection/protect her from evil. I feel like this version of Draupadi is a independent badass and the Pandavas might see her as equal or even more powerful than them! Can't wait to read more!
Hi Sara!
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad to see where you took these stories and I like how in each of them, you've taken Draupadi's original story in your own hands and reshaped them. I especially enjoyed the second one where you gave her much more autonomy, and further developed her relationship with her mother. Not only did it give her more of a say, but you made her mother's character stronger too. I think you brought the mother's character across the way you mentioned in your Author's Note well. In the first story, I found the change to Draupadi's point of view a bit jarring, and I was wondering if perhaps you put it in italics or separated it by adding quotations, it might help to ease the reader into the sudden change. I am looking forward to see your take on Draupadi ending up with five husbands, especially since you've set it up that she fell for 'the archer' as her true love first!
Hi Sara! I felt like trying out Prof. Gibb's comment style, specifically on your first story The Birth of Draupadi.
ReplyDelete"The bright, fearsome flame was even visible from a distance. "
I think putting the even after the visible might be a better choice.
"Growling and dancing, it flickered brightly before their eyes."
Good description, but I'm not sure that I think of fires as growling. Also you might want to use pronouns after establishing who you are referring to.
"The flames flashing in orange, red, yellow, and even white, the people of Panachala stood watching the sacrificial fire, waiting for a true prince to step from the burning flames."
The in before orange might be unnecessary. I'd also personally rewrite the first section to use as, like this.
"As the flames flashed orange, red, yellow, and even white, the people of Panchala..."
The rest of this paragraph is pretty good. it definitely establishes the nervousness around the event.
"Then, from the sacrificial fire, arose a fully-grown man, glowing like the gods. He was as radiant as fire and frightening to behold. His face shone like gold against the sun. His clothes, too, were golden. The prince wore a suit of armor with bows, arrows, helmet, and sword. He stepped out of the fire, and stood tall and unafraid."
Good imagery. I think that the last comma is unneeded though.
"There in the sacrificial fire, I can see the burning flames engulfing me, licking against my cool dark-complexioned skin."
The switch to first person is a bit jarring, perhaps there is a way to weave it into the start of the story seamlessly?
"Hearing this, all of the people of Panchala rose to their feet and roared like a lion in the crowd."
This sentence is written in third person, which is again, jarring. Perhaps try
"Hearing this, the crowd around me rose and roared like a lion."
The last paragraph is fine. This excerpt
"I could see happy tears rolling down her face as she met her children for the first time. "
Makes me feel pretty warm and fuzzy.
I'd like to finish by saying that this story feels very grand and epic. I was listening to the Halo theme song while reading, and was a very good fit.
I really enjoyed reading your story. It seems to be a common theme in a lot of storybooks and fairytales for the daughter to rebel against arranged marriages. It was a common theme when we were kids too, like in Mulan and I can see why, I wouldn’t want an arranged marriage either. One thing I think could make this theme a little stronger in your story is having Draupadi and the archer have more of a relationship before she wants to marry him. It seems like she only wants to marry him after seeming him once and not really knowing him very well first. To me that kind of similar to having an arranged marriage. Other then that I really liked your story because I think it is a good theme and very well written. The story flowed very well and was easy to follow along with.
ReplyDeleteSara,
ReplyDeleteI love how you focused on Draupadi! She is an incredible character who was more than the Pandava's wife. I honestly did not realize that her brother was Dhristadhyumna, or at least that they were twins. Your story was wonderful to read, and I like that your inspiration came from "The Palace of Illusions." That resource was so fun and wonderful to read, so I can see why it influenced you to do so. The way you wrote the story was wonderful as well. It was so descriptive, and I could imagine myself in her place going through the birth and marriage. I do suggest, however, if you could find a little better quality photos. Your beautiful stories and cute page would be more consistent! But if it is hard to find, then honestly it is not anything major to worry about. You did a great job! I hope to find another story on here next week!
Hey Sara,
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your last entry to your storybook, "In Love," and after seeing how the whole story wounded up, I was pleasantly surprised! Like I said in my last comment, I typically like to stay pretty close to the source material, so when I was reading your storybook I kept on waiting for the introduction of the Pandavas. In this entry I was introduced to Arjuna, but not in the way I thought I would be. Having him already grown up and have a family made the romance seem a lit more alive rather than just winning her hand in marriage at a festival. Also, the love between the two seemed more romantic as she fell in love with Arjuna on her own, not marrying all the brothers because their mom said to share whatever they had. This story was far from the source material and I loved it! Thanks for keeping me on my toes and thanks for the great read. Go Draupadi!
Sara,
ReplyDeleteHappy dead week to you!
What a wonderful story you have told for us with your storybook, “The Stories of Draupadi.” Although my natural male tendency toward the conflict of battles usually leads me by the allure of battle scenes in the Indian Epics, it is refreshing to read about the exploration of the love story. I appreciate that you have explored the depths of loss and emotional experience that the characters have experienced versus the conflicts of battle action. Your introduction gives the reader a good look into where you are going with the stories. “The Birth of Draupadi,” “Draupadi Finds Her True Love,” and “The defeat of Drona” tell the stories in the way that you explained in your introduction. Your images are well thought out and contribute greatly to your story. Your color palette on the blog sets a very nice tone. Also, the storybook blog links on each page give your reader a very convenient experience in terms of navigation. Finally, I bet you are happy to be finished! I think we all are!