Week 7 Story: Draupadi’s Plan for Revenge
Image info: Ashwatthaman arrested and taken to Draupadi, Image credit: Wikipedia
Standing before my five husbands, I looked to Yudhishthira, searching for answers of what had happened. Shakily, I asked, “What is it, my beloved? You can tell me anything.” He answers her slowly and softly, “Draupadi, something had happened at the camp last night. Our camp was raided and with it, your brother and sons were murdered as well.”
For a second, all I saw was his mouth moving, and the words that came out of his mouth sounded like gibberish. Did he say my brother and sons were killed? I thought to myself. He could not possibly have said that. It can’t be. Then, it hit me. Clutching my chest, I thought I was going to faint. My knees felt like they were going to give out and unbuckle any second.
Taking a deep breath and blinking back the tears, I finally replied to my husband, “So what is our plan to kill the bloodthirsty Ashwatthaman and avenge the death of my family? Have you developed a plan or strategy, yet?”
Replied Yudhishthira, “Ashwatthaman will be punished. However, killing him will only dirty your hands. Let the greatest of the gods punish him for what he had done wrong to us. Even if he is to be slain, your brother and sons will not return to us.”
Agreeing with Yudhishthira, Draupadi proposes another plan to avenge for her family. “Ashwatthaman was born with a great jewel that granted him power as well as protecting him from natural causes such as hunger, thirst and fatigue. Let us take the jewel from him, for it is as dear to him as his own life.”
Author’s Note: After reading the story “Aswatthaman’s Jewel” written by Donald A. Mackenzie, I thought that Draupadi acted impulsively and childishly, making demands left and right. With that being said, in my version of the story, I would like to change how Draupadi reacts to the deaths of her beloved sons and brother. Instead of being so bitter and crying hysterically, I would change her character to be more heartbroken, but still have the confidence that the deaths of her sons and brother would be avenged.
Hey Sara. Your story was really good! The first thing that caught my attention was your title. I really like your title, it drew me in as the reader, so the title is great! I liked how you changed Draupadi. She is patient within this and I like how we are able to read and her thought and her feelings. I feel terrible that her sons and brother were killed. The only problem I had when reading was the ending. I would change it up a little to where the ending flows better. Maybe add another sentence that will transition the story better if you continue writing about this next story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Sara,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed how you told this story from a 1st person point of view. A large majority of the stories I've read (and those that I have written as well) tend to be written from a 3rd person point of view, as I find it's easier to tell the many thoughts/actions of the many characters in this way. While I find it to be easier to write in 3rd person point of view, I think your first person style allowed for much more emphasis and insight into Draupadi and her thoughts and emotions during the war. Great story and I can't wait to read more!
Hello, Sara!
ReplyDeleteI very much enjoyed reading your story today, and I really appreciated the first person narrative style. One thing I've really been wanting to do with future stories has been to try a first person style, because I think it makes the writing more expressive and interesting. I think in the case of your story, readers are really able to see Draupadi's thoughts and feelings about the war. Great job!